The Author of Scribbles
It might seem a little strange at first, but I have found a way to cope with my diagnoses. That works for
I am not me, she is not she, she is we, she's got her own feet
mind, moving my
crying my tears
I've gone to a lot of therapy over the course of my life time to make sense of the chaos within. I have found ways of coping on my own. Some healthy and some unhealthy. I have related to characters such as Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, or the superheroes themselves: The X Men.
I would often get lost in the fantasy of these strange beings on earth. Their unique gifts hurting not only them, but friends and loved ones.
they were invited to Hogwarts, or ascended to the demi god world, or found Xavier's school for the gifted where each character learned to hone their gifts that were haunting/acting as much more of a curse.
Over time I would create my own world to help heal myself. I would draw a little comic book character, standing up straight and strong, cape flowing in the wind. (and by draw I mean a stick figure scratching), and title the book, "From Bipolar to Biable."
I was trying to make sense of these unique gifts within me that felt much more like a curse.
Through extensive therapy I have realized it is best to use my "different," or "unique," or "vibrant" spectrum of feelings to my advantage. But in order to do that I had to change the way I viewed myself. The way I spoke to myself. I was not broken. I was rough around the edges. A beautiful work in progress. A wild wizardess who did not know yet how to hone her powers, but had a lot of potential. It would just take practice.
The world, society still doesn't understand mental illness very well. Its shows in these statistics:
My friends would always call me Riis. I was nicknamed this at my music college - a hogwarts of sorts where I found many others like myself finally relating to each other how we didn't relate in the normal world.
I realized there is power in a name and the meaning we give it. Analisa was the sensitive traumatized girl, who had to learn to be strong over time, and realize what a bad-ass she really is.
her alter ego
was a seasoned bad ass.
Imagine a Beatrix Kiddo of sorts.
She's the one who picks Analisa up off the of the floor, wipes her tears and shows her how to use what is hurting her to her advantage.
Riis is a superhero, the X Man who has years and years of specialized training in how to hone and utilize her gifts in a way that benefits her and others around her.
She understands the responsibility that comes with such superpowers and she has learned to not abuse these gifts, but to cherish them, and focus them.
I wrote poetry with this pseudonym, because it makes me feel like I can accomplish my goals. Analisa is writing but Riis is giving the support and the guidance.
So, I pay homage to her.
I plan to make a little superhero book about Riis, by Riis soon, of course.
Remember, I have Bipolar, or I have the super power of extreme belief. Therefore this book is already done!
Back to the mish mash of: